#Older Riy

[goldenguillotines]

Riyy boi

[ekuns]

being well liked by the community i live in is so funny. i can show up at a good chunk of my neighbor's houses uninvited and unannounced, knock on the door, and they;ll without fail just be like "oh hi!! come in, how are you???" and sometimes even offer me snacks and shit

[21280]

warnings for nsfw! implied age gap (it's always age gap when it's older pro heroes), swearing, afab reader, she/her used, fingering, dom! aizawa (?), poorly written smut. this is my birthday gift from me to me! mdni.

shota aizawa and birthdays are not a great mix. he's as emotionally available as a pet rock, so it takes him a while to actually care for such dates.

but when yours comes around, it's an entirely different situation. he somewhat cares, and he's thoughtful enough to consider buying you a gift. key word being consider. it's usually something small like buying you lunch from the cafeteria, or gifting you something practical for your hero suit. and it's very subtle; he gives you his 'gifts' with nobody around so there's no speculation about his bias for your special day.

this year, he made two tiny mistakes.

one, getting noticed by hizashi yamada.

two, buying you something entirely different than before.

so when he's attempting to wrap a small chocolate box in crinkly wrapping paper, he can sense his workmate's eyes lingering on his figure. thinking little of it, he continues.

shota should've known there was something going on the second he stepped foot in the teacher dorms and it was empty. the only sign of life were your huffs and groans coming from the kitchen as you measured flour and some other dry ingredients.

"y/n? where are the others?"

"they said they had to go prepare some stuff at the faculty lounge for my secret party" you laughed, "can you believe i'm stuck baking my own cake?"

shota's eyes slightly widened as he walked towards the elevator, explaining how he had a small present for you. taking advantage of the solitude, it was better for him to deliver his present now than later. a few minutes went by until he returned with a small bag, inside being a box wrapped in crepe paper.

"oh my gosh, you really didn't have to, aizawa" you giggled, your hands steady on the kitchen counter as you jumped to take a seat. you slowly tore away the paper to reveal a simple, black box with golden lettering. they were chocolates, and not the cheap kind. "these look so good, you wanna share?"

he shook his head in response. "they're for you, y'know." you tilted your head to the side, "and if i want to share?"

he scoffed, "alright, but don't be complaining later when i eat the whole—"

there was a loud sound coming from a speaker. shota knew that mic bought it to have ambiance music during dinner or during cooking, but he never knew it could turn on by itself. more importantly...

the speaker wasn't playing pure background noise. it was playing a song.

shota sighed as he recognized the familiar tune, which was one he had heard during his younger years. and he knew that you recognized it too, from the way in which you held in your laugh. "is this your doing, aizawa?" he shook his head as his phone pinged, and to his surprise, it was a text.

Yamada 19:05 AIZAWA BUDDY Hope you like the surprise!!! We won't look at the kitchen cameras for the rest of the night We still want you to be at the lounge for Y/n's party at 9 tho so move along!!

Shota 19:07 Are you fucking serious?

Yamada 19:08 It's her birthday so you know she wanna rii-ii-iiide out Seriously we're gonna be upset if you waste my good music for nothing bro.

"it's mic's doing" he grumbled, to which you laughed. "is this his attempt at setting us up?" he asked. "probably. is it working?"

"i don't know a single person who enjoys this song unironically. do you seriously want to do this with yamada's playlist?"

"something's better than nothing, aizawa" you smiled, "wanna sing along to birthday sex with me?"

shota took the chocolate box from your hand, picking a small tablet and placing it between his teeth. he moved closer, his hands slightly parting your thighs as he positioned himself between them. though his voice came out muffled by the chocolate, it was obvious what he was saying.

"come on. eat."

your fingers grasped the fabric of his shirt as you pulled him closer as you leaned in to take a bite. before you could, though, shota took the chocolate from his mouth and threw it somewhere on the counter, connecting his lips with yours. your hand cupped his cheek as your back slightly arched, wanting to close the gap even further. shota's hand was on the small of your back as he slowly dragged you to the edge of the counter.

his hand lowered towards your ass, causing you to gasp. shota was quick to slide his tongue inside, earning a whine from you. your lips are intoxicating to shota. they're addictive, and he tries desperately to keep nibbling on what he deemed heaven itself.

but alas, air is not only something he needs, you need it too. you pulled away to catch your breath, your hand moving from his cheek to under his shirt, softly tracing the skin on his lower back. "you do know this is probably mic's sex fantasy, right?"

he stifled a laugh, "something's better than nothing, right?"

shota's fingers ghosted over your thighs. "this okay?" he asked, to which you nodded. his fingers traced the hem of your shorts, sneakily pushing the fabric to the side as the tip of his finger lazily drew circles on your clothed cunt. "y'know, i could just fuck you like this, no prob. the shorts make it easy."

and his touch is enough to give you goosebumps. you trembled as he slowly, and carefully peeled your panties to the side, slipping two digits inside. he chuckled as you gripped his shirt in response. "you're this wet already? but we're just getting started."

the way his fingers thrust inside you made your grip on him tighten. you wondered if he had any previous experiences—he’s old, so he’s had to have some—there’s no way he’s naturally good. his fingers curled up inside your walls, and it was enough to have your hips jerk towards him, your head on his chest as your breath quickened. shota's thumb drew circles on your clit as he leaned in to whisper.

“does it feel good?”

you try to answer as coherently as you can, but it’s no use. “it—aah—s’good, aizawa.”

without warning, he slips in one more digit. the moan that escaped your lips was so raw—so lewd, it was almost enough for shota to cum on the spot. “that’s not my name, it’s shota. try again.”

“fuck—shota—so good.”

“that’s better” he growled, his free hand moving under your shirt. shota aizawa is skilled, because in one swift movement your bra is unclasped, your shirt is lifted, and his lips and nibbling and suckling on your hardened nipples. shota aizawa knows your sensitive spots. he either guessed them first try, or has known you long enough to know.

you were a moaning mess. you clung onto him so hungrily, with so much desperation. the only sounds that left your mouth were incoherent thoughts and screams.

“sho—want you ‘nside—now.”

he let out a low chuckle, “you need to cum for me first. think you can do that, y/n?”

shota didn’t have to tell you twice.

[hoonvrs]

ENHA AND THEIR PARTNER PRIVILEGES

req for 1k event!

PROMPT enha and the types of partner privileges they’d give their s/o

PAIRING enha x gnr

GENRE est. relationship, fluff

WARNINGS swearing, delusions

W. COUNT 0.6k

S. NOTE i loved writing this omg

LEE HEESEUNG

( going into his bedroom unannounced )

ever since hee got his own bedroom everything changed

god forbid any of the members go into his room without asking first

even if they go in to tell him something they have to knock first

so imagine the shock on their face when they saw you one day just go in

no knocking, no nothing

and hee didn’t even get mad?? didn’t even bring it up to you

made all the members (especially niki) sulk cause why could you go in whenever you please whilst they couldn’t 

PARK JONGSEONG

( touching his guitar set )

the way jay is protective over his guitars you’d think he birthed them himself 

one of the members could simply breath next them and he starts losing his shit

can’t even be near it cause “what if you trip and fall into it”

next thing you know here’s jay trying to teach you guitar

you didn’t even know he acted like that until the members made it seem like you killed someone when you randomly took it out of the case one day

they all told you how he acts whenever they go near it

cue the offended gasp when they find out jay has never acted that way with you 

SIM JAEYUN

( sleep together )

as much as jake is a physically affectionate person

he hates sharing a bed 

he’s just always preferred sleeping without having fight someone over his own blanket

but with you he insists to sleep together

he’s even kicked out niki one too many times out of his bed

and even if you do sometimes (read: most of the time) end up stealing the blanket, he uses that as an excuse to cuddle you for warmth

PARK SUNGHOON

( ruffle/touch his hair )

one of hoons biggest pet peeve is when someone touches his hair

and if someone even so much as comes near his hair once he’s styled it

be ready to deal with a pissed off sunghoon

the amount of arguments he’s had with the other members over this is crazy

so, when you decided to on day ruffle his hair in front of the boys after they watched him spend 15 minutes on it, they were prepared for an argument

surprise surprise he just laughs at your antics leaving the boys offended because “what happened to bros before hoes”

KIM SUNWOO

( be physically affectionate )

as much as jake is physically affectionate with everyone, sunoo isn’t

he’s always been someone to be a little uncomfortable with any show of physical touch

thus, never initiating it 

cue the members pouting as soon as they see sunoo run to give you a hug

all start complaining how he never hugs them, or even returns their own hugs

confuses you a little cause sunoo has never not been affectionate with you, even before your relationship

YANG JUNGWON

( cry in front of you )

as the leader of enhypen, jungwon has always believed he has to be the pillar of the group

or where he basically never shows when anything is bothering/upsets him to his members 

as much as all the members keep reassuring him that it’s okay to cry in front of them

you’d never catch yang jungwon dead crying

except you apparently

to you, jungwon had always seemed to be secure with his emotions, and maybe the members are jealous who knows

NISHIMURA RIKI

( babying him )

no matter how many times niki will insist he’s ‘mature’

he’ll always be your baby

doesn’t matter if you’re older or younger than him

boy doesn’t even let the members baby him as the maknae

they could simply call him a cute nickname and suddenly he becomes defensive

everyone was shocked to find out he willingly lets you call him ‘baby duck’ after ranting to the whole nation that he is a puma

perm taglist @mesopret @tnyhees ​@haknom @shinsou-rii @redm4ri @lacimolela @llama-lyna @chiyuv @lazysmushi @flwoie @kocokookie @kyexvly

[ahamkara-apologist]

Hello!!

I am requesting...... Eramis headcanons. Everything you have. Every single little thing.

ERAMIS TIME LETS GOOOO. She’s my fav D2 character so needless to say I’ve got a lot of hcs about her. Some of these are crossposted from previous hcs I wrote up 2 years ago, so if they seem familiar, that’s why!

-General stuff first: even tho scent is important to the Eliksni, openly sniffing someone and/or making a comment on their scent is a rank thing, because their pheromones can indicate their health and personal affairs, and kells were traditionally the oldest breeding individual of a family group. Only someone that is either higher-ranking or older than another can openly smell and comment on another Eliksni's scent, because it's generally considered that they are supposed to care for those below them. Eramis does this liberally. While it can be done in a mocking manner- and she does indeed do it in a mocking manner if she doesn’t like someone- it’s more just a means of checking in on someone while also reminding them of her age and status.  

-I know this isn't canon but fuck it. She was naturally a sort of dark steely grey Eliksni to begin with, but age and stress have turned her carapace to an indigo blue over the years of the Long Drift. It's a rare epigenetic trigger and is pretty uncommon outside of House Devils and Winter (who were naturally just lighter/bluer), because she’s blue coded in my brain and the eliksni deserve to have funky colour morphs instead of just being like. Mauve. She also has eyes that are a more icey colour than pure cyan

 -She has freckles!! More like mottling, really, but still pretty analogous to our freckles, because I love freckles and think it would be pretty on her. She also has a shitton of small white scars on her throat/chest from hatchlings clinging to her over the years, which was traditionally considered to be a mark of great wisdom and beauty in pre-Traveler Riisian society. Her carapace is like a more desaturated, purply version of this:

-Speaking of tradition, she's very classically beautiful among Eliksni, with a distinctly Dancer boxy, square headshape. While this was not what was favored in the Golden Age (rounder faceshapes, like seen in House Kings, were favored due to the Traveler's spherical beauty) it's still thought to be quite pretty, especially among Devils. She has mixed feelings about this, because she thinks that valuing beauty over an individual’s strengths is quite shallow, but has used it to her advantage in the past when trying to be charismatic

-The horns she had on Riis pre-Whirlwind were sharp and straight, with two long thicker ones pointing straight back and two smaller ones behind her cheekbones, along with the carapace ridges on her cheekbones having a bit of a point to them. Though all Riisborn Eliksni moulted away their horns to conserve nutrients in the Long Drift, she still has some shallow nubs of carapace that indicated where they were, unlike spaceborn Eliksni that never grew them in without the environmental cues necessary to start their development

-The wound that took out her right eyes was pretty drastic, as she took a dawnblade strike to the face from one of Osiris’s echoes at Twilight Gap. The only reason she survived is because she was not the primary target, so it only nicked her, but the wound melted through her flesh and carapace like a hot knife through butter, and gouged open her sinus cavity as well. To make matters worse, it also got infected after the necrotic tissue was cut away, so the scarring there is…pretty bad. She’s not bothered by the disfigurement, but she does keep it covered as much as possible to prevent people from realizing that she has a weak spot + keep as much shit out of her exposed nasal passage as possible. And also because the back parts of her eye sockets were protected well enough for electrodes to be implanted which connects to sensors in her helmet that buzz when something comes up on her right side, making up for her lack of vision 

-Even so, she frequently cocks her head back and forth like a bird to make up for her inability to see on her right side. This is actually canon, but I like to imagine that it's more pronounced when she's calm and not around enemies. Her hearing on that side is much sharper to accommodate her lack of sight as well, so you're not going to sneak up or behind her that easily (as some unruly hatchlings learned the hard way)

-She's big compared to us, but not to other Eliksni of her social status. To them, she's actually pretty fuckin' tiny. Like, 5 foot levels of tiny. Her genetics were not kind to her. She’s also on the more slim side, all wirey muscle with very little fat: if Phylaks was a Titan and Kridis was a Warlock, then she'd be the Hunter of the trio. It caused her health problems in the past re: carrying clutches, but she’s stopped caring about it a long time ago

-She was orphaned at a young age, and part of why she and Athrys had many hatchlings was because they just kept adopting and caring for orphaned or high-intensity care hatchlings. Orphans on Riis were raised communally, with small countryside villages often comprised of 3-4 large families that worked together to share resources, so she had lots of experience helping out her elders with caring for more needy infants. When she and Athrys started their own family, they were the ones in their community who people would go to for advice with premature hatchlings or more sickly infants 

-She actually used to know Variks on Riis; he was a teenager/young adult around the time that she was a child, and he used to let her dig through his notes on things she was interested in whenever he visited the Dancers on official scribe business. That she grew into who she was today is something that he bitterly regrets, while his betrayal/perceived weakness is something that she deeply hates him for. He was almost like an older brother or cousin figure to her, so the schism between them is…really personal 

-We'd probably place her on the butch scale of things in our society, but among the eliksni side of things she's actually high femme. The thing is that, well...eliksni genders are not really much like ours at all, so that's somewhat arbitrary to her, doubly so because she doesn’t identify entirely as female (canonical she/they Eramis my beloved). I just thought it would be a fun thing to fiddle around with via an intersection of human and eliksni cultures

-Her gender is 'she but in the way you refer to a ship, not a woman'. The Eliksni version of femininity is something that she just kinda accidentally phases into, not something that she actually cares about much. Gender is more of a 'yeah sure whatever' than a 'this is me and you better fucking respect it' thing

-She's one of the very few Eliksni that Taniks trusts and respects. This is because she's one of the very few Eliksni who know that trying to put a leash on Taniks is like trying to tie a silk thread over the jaws of a rabid hyena, so she just lets him do what he wants...as long as it is relatively within reason. She also doesn't try to pull rank over him, or snap at him for disrespect, though she won't let him push her around, as Taniks is wont to do. Other Eliksni think that she's absolutely fucking insane for this

-Athrys was her heartmate, and she’s still not over her. While the company of other Eliksni can come close, and many Eliksni aren’t particularly known for being monogamous, Athrys was different in that the trauma of the Whirlwind and losing their hatchlings along with her just. Turned Eramis completely away from the concept of officially taking another mate. She had a little almost-polycule going on with Phylaks and Kridis, but anytime it started to get more serious, she’d freeze up. It’s not that anyone is trying to replace Athrys; heartmates are kind of like soulmates in Eliksni culture, with the exception that they’re not limited to romance like human culture is, so everyone knew how close they were. It’s more that if she settles into the routine of having a partner again instead of something closer to fwb roommates, she’ll start having flashbacks to the last time she had a mate, and it triggers a depressive episode. To make things worse, Phylaks and Kridis befriended her when they were teenagers on Riis, so her attachment to them is also linked to Athrys (who used to affectionately call them all a band of hooligans)

-Phylaks wanted to have hatchlings with her at one point. The conversation about that…did not go well. Eramis still has those mother instincts going strong, and to be a good Kell among the eliksni used to mean being like a parent to everyone under you (at least, before the Whirlwind), but Eramis cannot think about what it might mean to have more hatchlings of her own without losing it

-Also tying into her gender fuckery, her pining for Athrys, and her thing with Taniks is the fact that they used to be heatmates; I hc Taniks as being the Eliksni variant of bigender, which he only ever felt comfortable revealing to Eramis, while Eramis wanted someone who was the exact opposite of Athrys to share her heats with specifically so that she wouldn’t turn into an emotional mess during it…and Taniks is about as far from Athrys as you can get. It’s kind of a crack headcanon with my friends that this is how Eido came about, lmfao. Though in my iteration, Eramis has zero idea that Eido is her kid, because Taniks was in denial about being gravid until he actually laid the eggs (reminder, in my hcs Eliksni males carry the fertilized eggs in a specialized broodpouch, much like seahorses do), and then he panicked and stuffed them into the vents of a ship he was working on so he wouldn’t have to deal with them later  

-She fucking loves citrus- specifically, tangerines and oranges. Its the one thing she actually enjoys among Earth foods, and no, it's not because she's a space pirate. Eliksni don't get scurvy. She just really really likes the taste of them. She is also particularly fond of seafood and organ meats, and though she used to complain endlessly that prey from Sol tasted nothing like that of prey from Riis, you’d be hard-pressed to hear her complain about anything regarding food post-Prison of Elders

-Out of their clutches, almost all were carried by Athrys, because Eramis has issues with carrying clutches to completion. Eliksni can change sex pretty easily, and initially same-sex couples will oftentimes alternate during breeding seasons if they dont find a surrogate, but a mixture of Eramis being small and narrow-waisted meant that her broodpouch never would develop to full capacity when she'd go through a sex-change molt. It's something that she still bears a lot of trauma about, though she hasn't thought about since the Long Drift.

-Lost her lower legs in a ship crash, but that doesn’t impact her mobility much. She’s just as capable of running on all four arms as she would on all sixes if her prosthetics are absent or compromised. It’s not dignified in the slightest, but then again, dignity is something that she gave up on when she got locked into survival mode during the Whirlwind

-Her breathing has a slight snuffly, wheezy sound as a result of the damage to her snout and sinuses, but it's very subtle and doesn't impact her quality of life. It just pisses her off if you comment on it. She also got minor cases of Eliksni pneumonia on Europa after a bad cough that went around in the Prison of Elders got to her as well, so she’s hyperaware and afraid of getting chronic respiratory infections and WILL snap at you if you mention it. There's a reason why her suit covers her spiracles as well as her mouth

-Can cook a handful of generic dishes extremely well and the rest either passable or poorly. This is entirely due to the fact that she used to take cooking and teaching duty for her hatchlings on Riis while Arthys worked, so she memorized a set number of recipes everyone agreed upon and nothing more. She’s hyperaware of the fact that she’s not a cook, but don’t let her into the kitchen regardless she'll hover around and scold you like a middle eastern grandma if she thinks you're not cooking to her standards

-Not very talented on the creative side of things, but absolutely wicked with machines. She can hotwire practically anything in the Sol system in under a minute. The tips of her hands are covered in scars from electrical burns; she and Arthys used to joke that she traded her impulse control for her ability to break apart and rewire any piece of tech she gets her claws on

-She was a strict mother to her and Arthys’s hatchlings, but she was also the quickest to turn her eyes away if they were being mischievous/pulling pranks; that, or she’d join in and make their shenanigans even worse. She imposed and kept rules to keep them safe, but respected their desire to push back against the more arbitrary ones, because she used to be the same way. She’d be tougher with hatchlings she didn’t know, but not in a harsh way, just in a ‘I won’t risk your harm’ sort of way. And if her own kids didn’t play nice with the others, she’d be sure to give them a scolding: her entire shtick is very mamma lion coded, ngl, and that’s a good chunk of why she couldn’t stop herself from caring for Eido during Plunder. She’s essentially been locked into the ‘angry lioness just saw someone kill her cubs right in front of her and now she’s on the warpath’ mode for centuries, and even though she’s tried to snap out of it so as to not seem weak, she hasn’t had much luck

-The name 'Eramis' roughly translates to 'raging storm' in old Eliksni. Anyone who has met her would agree that it's quite an apt description of her

-She's also fond of being squashed while sleeping or cuddling. You'd never expect it, but Eramis, Kell of Darkness is a little spoon. Or, rather, the bottom pancake of the stack. This has waned in favor of her sleeping in front of her loved ones as a guard post-Whirlwind, but despite all her pride about being short, she really does love being compressed, be it by a brood of hatchlings draping over her or her harem curling around her. A weighted blanket would probably absolutely blow her mind

-She doesn’t actually hate humans, though she doesn’t exactly like us either. Eramis is very politically savvy, and she’s very, very good at appealing to the ranks of Eliksni who despise humanity. She hates Guardians and the Vanguard, but she hates the abstraction of their forces and what we represent than humanity as a species

-The Darkness acted like a parasite to her on Europa, and she was its intermediary host (we were its final target). Almost all of her behavior during Beyond Light was the result of centuries of constantly being stuck in fight-or-flight mode paired with the trauma of the Prison of Elders and the euphoria of finally having some measure of power over her own life again being amplified to a dangerous, irrational level by the Witness in order to draw us in to accept its ‘gift’ of Stasis. Being betrayed helped her to snap out of it and come to the realization that she was being used, which is what nuked her anger and had her spiraling into the depression that she’s canonically in right now. She’s burned out the last of her anger, made quicker by the Witness’s torture, and now she’s hollowed out and so, so tired of all the injustices that the universe has to offer her

[destiny-aesthetics]

LORE: THE GARDEN-WAY

6. Return (6/6)

This being the recollection of Irrha of the House of Slayers, apprentice to the Baron Kiiraskes.

The artificial current did more to steer the watercraft than we did. Kiiraskes held loosely to the oar with one hand. I held the drone carefully, mindful of the occasional splash of water from the restless river. It chimed cheerfully in my hands, perhaps sensing I wanted soothing. "I had a son. Ah..." Kiiraskes scraped a claw along one mandible, to strike the words from her mouth. "I have a son. Not much older than you." I looked up at her, surprised. Her gaze was on the water. "He found a place with the Gentle Weavers. He wanted very much to... belong. I hope he will weave great things. Or else... do whatever it is he wishes to do." She looked at me, and it was my turn to feign interest in the river. I heard her sigh. "We Slayers were never lords. We had no Kells. We came together to defend our people. We were Barons of Riis and the Great Machine, not... this House or that." She touched the scar on her stomach, and I stilled in concern. "The wars destroyed us. Nobody believes that there is anything worse to fight out there than ourselves." I thought, without wanting to, of Haaksis. The mind-sickness that had gripped him... or else, the voice of something powerful and ancient. "Chelchis sees it. Feels it deep in her mills. Something is coming. All those strange reports that she takes back to Kings and Judgment. But she thinks it will come from within, from... disorder." "But... I saw the monster," I said. "I'll tell everyone what happened." Kiiraskes looked up at me. Even with her helmet removed, I could not tell what she was thinking. "You did well, Irrha," she said. The rest of the journey, we passed in silence. I knew Baron Kiiraskes was still in pain because she did not shrug off Chelchis's assistance in stepping out of the watercraft. Kiiraskes reached out to take the Shank from my hands. "I will speak to House Judgment and report on our findings." She hesitated. "Chelchiskel can keep an eye out for you until I return." We both watched Baron Kiiraskes pull her cloak tightly around herself and limp away toward the palace doors. Chelchis stared at me, and I worried she would ask me for an explanation. But instead, Chelchis grunted, as if something had been decided, and leaned against a nearby pillar. I felt the weight of the past couple of days settle onto me. I was tired, but my body was not convinced it was safe to rest. I felt alert and exhausted all at once. I hugged my arms to myself and waited. Some time into the silence, Chelchis began to sing quietly. It was not a tune I recognized, but beautiful in its lilting sweetness. I thought of voices raised together in song in shared rooms. I thought of long nights playing find-sneak with friends, long before any of us had to worry about our purpose. In my chest, I felt a hollow ache like grief. "What is it?" Chelchis asked. I startled and looked up at her. What could I possibly say to a Kell that wouldn't just be wasting her time? "Oh, no, it's just... your song is sad." Had she taken offense, she could have pulled my arms from their sockets. Instead, Chelchis touched my shoulder gently, and drew me close. "Not sad," Chelchis said. "A song for star-sailors headed out into the dark between worlds." "And wherever we walk, there is Light, little brother."

_____________________ [Goodbye, Irrha. -Eido, Scribe of House Light]

[seosracha]

PLEASE REMEMBER ME WHEN OUR YOUTH IS GONE jake sim x reader

SYNOPSIS-> when sim jake, the highest scoring student and an easily identifiable perfectionist starts falling for a messy and careless girl, he cant find any words in the world to express his love for the only star in his eyes.

PAIRING-> sim jake x fem!reader

GENRE-> angst, fluff, unrequited love, highschool au, oneshot

WORDCOUNT-> 5k

AUTHORS NOTE!-> this is one of my old ateez oneshots that never got the appreciation (I THINK‼️‼️) it deserved:///

PERM TAGLIST-> @bubblytaetae @qghosty @viagumi @artstaeh @bigtoewinwin @strwberrydinosaur @enhacolor @rendezrei @shinsou-rii @notrosemary

Jake wanted to be considered a perfectionist, since he strived towards outstanding scores, a foolproof attendance and he longed to outdo himself in anything he sparked interest in. The watch his friends gave him never left his wrist, and you could catch him sneaking glances at it every minute or so. Jake was never late. Guards who watched over the school's property often spotted him at the crack of dawn, studying for exams or finishing yesterday's homework. 

Beneath the orange haze of the early morning sky, Jake’s eyes flush wide open. His body is sticky and he can feel the hot sweat creep down his neck, as he forces his body to get up. Then it hits him, as his still blurry vision spots the light blue alarm clock amongst his school uniform. His body trembles, as the usually blue numbers don’t light up his face anymore. His chest heaves uneasily, as the palm of his hand rummages through the white bed sheets. Jake’s fingertips hit the cold black surface of his phone, and roughly  pull it up to the side of his damp thigh. He reluctantly opens his phone and the white numbers on his screen read 6:48. Panic subsidies the liberating feeling he woke up with. 

“So  fucking stupid” he mutters, but the admission alone was enough to calm his heart. 

It was early, yet the scary thought of a 90/100 points on his English exam found a place in his gut, and nagged him every time his eyes read over the four digits. 

A cold shower refreshes his puddled mind, and washes away the thick layer of sweat. Jake tries to relax into the cool water, the panic fading away into a fabricated confidence. 

 “I’ll ace this” he exhales slowly, and the unnerving thoughts vanish with each scrub. 

….

Your eyes flutter open, as you try to avoid the boisterous voice of your older brother. His footsteps echo through the small apartment, and you can’t figure if it's them getting closer or your head still in a state of pain. You abruptly rise as the wooden door creaks open, the fit figure of your brother emerging from behind it. 

“Have you seen my spare arrows? I really need them” he says, throat tight. 

His hair was messy, and you could make out spots of dry shampoo he probably applied earlier. He looked tired and sore from practicing late at night in the depths of his room. His figure is hunched over the door frame, the creases on his school uniform evident. 

Words leap at the tip of your tongue, and you clench your jaw to keep yourself from screaming right into his pretty face. 

“What time is it?” you ask, dodging his previous question. The feathery sweep of  chilling air alleviates the tension in your muscles. 

He shakes his head and rubs the tiredness off his face “It’s 6:48” he replied, the bright light illuminating his face. 

You cursed and slipped out of the warm covers. The cold air from your room's air conditioner settled on your bare legs. 

“They’re in the living room shelf” you finally tell him, and he exhales sharply, giving you a cheeky smile “You better give me a ride to school now, Jungwon” 

He laughs at your seemingly normal request and straightens his posture. He averts his gaze from the shiny floorboards, and looks straight into your sleepy eyes. 

“If you listened for once in your life, you’d know I have a competition today” he says giddly, and you have a strange wave of anger swarming through your body. You envied him perhaps, for being able to have a cheeky smile on the first thing in the morning. 

“You can still drive me to school?’ you reply and he just chuckles, stepping out of your dusty door frame to gather his lost arrows “Hey! I was talking to you” you breathe out. 

“It’s a ten minute walk. I’m not going in that direction anyways” he says loud enough for you to hear. He precisely opens the drawers and gently places his hand upon the arrows shaft, making little to no noise. His worst fear was the angry footsteps of his parents who were woken up by their child's antics. 

“You’re so annoying Jungwon” you sigh into the sunshine, that leaves it’s intense sparkle on the length of your tense shoulders. 

… 

Jake finds the school's uniform to be extra itchy today, as its fabric clings onto the recurring sweat on his body. His eyes furiously scan the emptiness of his poor decorated room, stopping at every metal object. 

He exhales yet another breath of disappointment, as the keys he’s been seeking for turn out to be his friends' sunglasses covered in the perfect way by stacks of crumpled paper. 

“Fuck” he curses under his breath. 

Jake can’t help but feel as if the world is against him on this day. Through the small window next to his bed, he can see the usually busy streets start to  fill up with cars and people. His body aches as the stinging sun burns into his skin. 

He hurriedly grabs the notebooks and textbooks off the messy shelf above his desk. The shelf was the only thing he let be messy in his life. He learned to live with its messy nature, and millions of unorganized worksheets. Jake isn’t even sure if these are the right books but the competitiveness in his veins leaves no time for a second checkup. 

Did he even do the homework? He’s not sure. 

… 

He slams the apartment door shut and so do you. 

He runs down the stairs with a thud but you choose to take the elevator. 

He drops the bag that hangs loosely on his broad shoulder, but you don’t so instead you keep humming the melody of a SKZ song. 

The hurry seems to stop as the both of you meet at the entrance. 

His great memory can resurface your smiley face anytime. He also can recall you being the last person to arrive in class, so considering the walk wasn’t too long he was shocked to see you up this early. 

You smile at him, and he doesn’t know if he should wave, smile back or maybe strike up a conversation. He doesn’t like the idea of an awkward walk to school adding onto the bad things that have already happened this morning. 

“Sim Jake! You’re a morning person aren’t you?” you say, and he can feel the tension in his muscles turn into a heatwave only he can feel the effects of, as he scrambles up a response. 

“I’m always up early” he replies and it sounds meaner than he intended it to be. Not like he wanted to be rude in the first place. 

“You seem a little grumpy for an ‘I’m always up early’ guy“ you quote and he feels  heat decorate his chiseled cheeks. The bitter taste of timeless greed ushered him into the depths of his own curiosity. What exactly was it that you wanted from him? Were you making fun of him? Or maybe you had a nice start to the hot summer day, unlike him? 

“I wanted to study for the english exam, but my alarm clock broke” he answers. 

You can see exhaustion lifelessly beam from him. 

“Ah, the exam! I’m sure you’ll do well” a smile pops up on your face, and Jake spots the dimples he never seemed to notice. 

Jake’s heart courses a steady blood through the canyons of his chest and uneasy stomach, as he wonders if replying with a simple thanks would be better than disagreeing. He didn’t want to seem eccentric. 

“Thanks. I’m sure you’ll do well too” he replies, and it feels as if the tension in his lungs fills up with oxygen once again. 

You make the incital move to leave the building, by stepping out of the moving doors. He is scared to do so, as the sun already looks ready to make him sweat his ass off. 

Jake exhales. His sneakers stalk towards your direction, and you smile as he finally pops out of his petrified state. 

“I didn’t exactly study for it, you know?” you reply to his non-compliment. 

He shakes his head, and chuckles. The sound of your voice seems to alleviate any tension in his muscles. 

“Why not? I mean this is a pretty big part of our grade” he murmurs. You roll your eyes playfully, and chuckle at the boy.

At this moment Jake wanted to fade away from the perfect class title. Maybe then you wouldn’t perceive him differently.  

“I was doing my nails! Do you like them? `` You beamed, and showed the baby blue gel nails into Jake’s face “You can take my hand in yours, that’s okay” you reassured him. 

He felt relief wash over his body, as he grabbed  your smaller hand in his wrought one. He looks at them closely, trying to figure out what exactly changed. He sensed that asking wouldn’t be an appropriate response to your hard work, so he just mustered up a kind response “They look great” he finally said, and for the first time you saw his sweet smile. 

The trees moved along with the light breeze of wind, birds sang a luscious melody and the sky was clear. Jake sinks into the beams of the midday sun, accepting it’s warm nature. It’s humid and noiseless. 

“Really? Seojun and Jungwon said they looked bad”  you laughed and he let go of your hand. “But I think you’re right,” you add quietly. 

“Yang Jungwon? The archery guy?” He was curious, since he knew Seojun well. She was Heeseung's girlfriend. 

Seojun and Heeseung we’re deeply and irrevocably in love with each other. They became one with one another, and shared the beautiful bond everyone envied. They sunk  in the commitment, intimacy, passion and admired the individuality they kept. Now, in 11th grade the fire they started was only growing, and even after countless hook ups, it still felt like their first time. 

“Yeah, archery Jungwon! He’s a senior and my brother” you explained and Jake nodded in understanding.  

“That explains why seniors never mess with you or Seojun” he chuckles and you hit his forearm. You never realized how built he really was. 

“Hey, you’d take that chance if you could too” you said and he hummed in agreement. 

He blows out a steady breath. Jake has never felt so comfortable with a girl. She gave him a mold and he fit perfectly. He’s grown weary of chasing after that which destroys him until he’s in deadly silence, burned to the core. He wanted to finally open up his arms and detach from the raw perspectives tight grip. 

“I’m really surprised we haven’t been talking earlier” you say after a brief moment of comforting silence, and Jake feels like the birds chirping tune has become more joyful, the sun joists a little brighter and the wind perfectly sweeps across his face. “I mean, Seojun and Heeseung have been dating since forever. Heeseung is your best friend right?” you ask, knowing the answer. 

Jake had many friends, or at least he thought so. His deskmate and platonic soulmate Heeseung, the mother of the group, Jay, the swim team captain and somehow his friend, Sunghoon. Then there was Sunoo who’d barely show up to class. Yet when he did, the whole class would cheer for their entertainment source, and wait for the chaos to begin.

He descends in the golden hope he’s been given. He breathes in the contentment and liberation the conversation has brought him to “I’ve known him pretty long. Although he never listens to me” Jake laughs and looks at you. 

“Seojun is so stubborn too! She never listens and ends up getting in trouble” you smile and he chuckles. 

Living the life of the remarkable couple that was Heeseung and Seojun, must’ve been so carefree and fun.  

“I guess they’re meant to be,” Jake said and the giggle that leaves your lips is carefree and sunny, and grounds Jake in his growing contentment. It’s astonishing how easily you encit this light from him. 

“No joke, they are. I always end up third wheeling when i'm sleeping over at Seojun’s” you said, and he gives you a questioning look “She ends up calling him on facetime” you voice an answer to his inner question. 

Jake felt as if he could talk to you for hours, but when the picture of the newly renovated school started becoming clearer, his heart sank. He started picking up various screams and he could see the 10 graders playing on the school's court. He also didn’t expect you to ever talk to him again. 

“Did you do the math homework?” you ask as the school grounds enfulge the both of you in a seemingly playful atmosphere. 

Jake shakes his head and you make a shocked face, which leaves him fearful. 

“It’s okay Jake,  Jieun probably did it” you answer with a gentleness you never knew your voice could possess, and reassure his inner dilemma. The usage of his name makes his uneasy stomach warm. 

As he expected you to leave his side, you never did. You walked  close to him, and he could swear he felt the positivity radiate off of you. Although you kept quiet, as you two walked up the never ending staircase. 

“Y/n! Why are you so early?” Seojun said, already all over Heeseung. He was pouting at her, and Seojun was applying her favorite cherry lip gloss onto his soft lips. She spotted Jake but that didn’t exactly answer her question, just enfudgled her in deeper confusion. “What are you doing with Jake?” 

… 

Jake tried to focus. He read over the sentence multiple times but it all felt like a blur to him. He found himself forgetting basic things, as his gaze couldn’t help but avert in your direction. 

After you two walked through the large wooden doors, Seojun kept on teasing you, and Heeseung almost instantly repeated her action but directed it towards Jake. 

‘Is she your girlfriend?’ ‘Is her your boyfriend’ 

‘Did you two already kiss?’ 

It was the consequence of having an annoying and childish friend. 

His warm hands tremble slightly, as he gropes the plastic pen. 

“What’s the answer to number five?” Heeseung whispers, but Jake ignores him. “Jaeyunnie?” he breathes out, and Jake kicks his foot with no answer. If only he had number five himself. 

He’d been skipping questions, now on number eight still not grasping anything printed on the paper. 

‘The period between childhood and adulthood is called?’ 

“Easy, youth” he whispers, and Heeseung turns into his direction with a pleadfull look on his face. 

A smile perks up on his lips as he writes down his answer with confidence.  Yet he sinks back into his chair, when the next question doesn’t sound so painfully obvious. 

‘Hugging someone who is hurt is a signal of?’ 

He sighs and writes down bravery but is sure the answer isn’t correct. He ducks his head low, dropping the pen. He glances down with a small smile, studying his dress pants. He gathers small pieces of lint, and throws them into the large pocket of his backpack. 

Jake sneaks another secretive glance at you, and you seem just as confused as he is. Although you keep writing so he assumes you're just shooting your shot. You try biting at your fingernails to relieve the stress, but soon remember they aren’t bare anymore. 

He stares at the blank, gray TV mounted on the wall. It seems like a dust collector, since the teachers never turned it on, but with the right remote it could show anything he wanted. Maybe even the answers to this impossible test. 

“I think it’s okay to not have answers,” Heeseung whispers. 

He tried to copy Jake’s answers but instead he spotted the page empty with nothing even scribbled over. Jake’s pen layed lifelessly just like the look on his face. 

“This is gonna hurt” Jake responds, but doesn’t remove his eyes from the TV. 

Softly, and quietly, Heeseung says “I know” 

He likes teasing Jake for his perfectionism, and longing passion for achieving great scores. Yet deep inside he has the need to comfort and reassure his friend at times like this. 

Jake squeezes his eyes shut, until he can feel the pain. He tries hard to muster up any answer that would at least give him half a point, but the bell relieves the pain as his eyes flush open. 

Panic rises as the calm aura subsides. He has to be hallucinating, but the students rising from their seats and handing in the test say otherwise. Time doesn’t even feel real anymore. 

“You want me to hand that in for you?” Heeseung asks, pointing to the empty paper. Jake shakes his head, and Heeseung just shrugs while walking off. 

“Babe I did so well! I didn’t finish one exercise, can you believe that?” Seojun squeaks, and wraps her long arms around Heeseung’s neck. He pulls her closer to his exhausted body and spins her around. She laughs and he just keeps on repeating how proud he is. 

“I knew you’d do well!” Heeseung says and she kisses his cheek, leaving a wet spot. 

Jake doesn’t understand how Heeseung isn’t envious of his girlfriend at this very moment. He bites his lip, and feels guilty. 

Maybe if he was in his friend's position it’d be different. Maybe if he could actually experience real love. 

His eyes catch your figure stalking towards the teachers desk, where the stacks of tests lay. With a sigh you let go of the paper, and smile at the teacher. Jake repeats your action. He doesn’t know if he did it because of you or perhaps he has come to a realization he won’t write anything. 

“I’m counting on you Jake” Mrs. Kang says and he flips the paper over to hide the fact he answered barely two questions. He gives her a polite smile in return. 

Some students are still glued to their chairs. Most of them are scribbling over their paper at an inhumane pace, and some look like they’re praying for a miracle. 

“So, how was it?” you ask, bringing Jake back to reality. 

He looks at you and smiles. All his worries fade away as you return one back, with the sweetest look on your face. 

Jake regrets not noticing you earlier. Then he wouldn’t feel like the side character to Seojun and Heeseung's story. 

What? 

“I knew this would happen. It went horrible” he answered. 

“Don’t worry! I didn’t answer a single question correctly” you say, and rub his shoulder. 

Jake feels the coldness of the classroom turn into a warm summer field. He bites back a cheeky response “I’m sure you’ll do better next time” 

“I don’t think so. I probably can’t even introduce myself in English” you giggle and he does too. 

“I think I just panicked” Jake says, and you pout. 

“Why? You know you don’t always have to be perfect. It’s fine to not be the best always” you voice with a dismal tone. 

His heart climbs, climbs, and climbs until it finally explodes into a flowered array of colorful sparkles. He feels as if his chest is on fire. 

“I’ve always put so much pressure on myself-” Jake starts but the couple interrupts him. 

“Let’s go outside! The archery team came back from their competition!” Seojun says, and you roll your eyes. 

“I really don’t want to hear Jungwon bragging right now,” you say. 

“Jungwon’s so cool” Jieun joins in and you make a disgusted face. 

“Not really. He’s off limits by the way, Jieun” you respond and she just pouts at you. 

Jake listens to the interaction unveil, still standing close to you. His hand brushes against yours. 

“I can’t believe you’d think I like your brother,” Jieun asserts sadly. 

“You do like him,” Seojun says calmly. Jieun gives her the scariest stare, and Seojun clings onto Heeseung's arm for protection. 

Jake fights the urge to laugh at their ridiculous approach to a seemingly serious topic. He’s reminded, fondly, of their immaturity- their youth. 

“Y/n don’t listen to this snake. Everything she says is a lie” Jieun looks straight into your eyes. 

“Whatever Ji. As long as your not making out with him in my house im fine with it” you say and Jieun bites her lip at the thought of having any intimate moment with Jungwon. You spot it. “You’re disgusting” you laugh and slap her arm. 

You then turn to Jake and pull out the pen you were previously scribbling over your exam with. You write nine digits on his hand, and he doesn’t understand what for at first. 

“Let's talk about this later. I want to help you” you say with a cute smile as Seojun starts pulling you towards the school's exit. You mouth a fast sorry, and leave him alone with Heeseung. 

“I can feel it coming” Heeseung sings and Jake just rolls his eyes leaving the classroom “Oh” he makes a frustrated noise, and looks for his next target. 

Sunghoon. Perfect. 

…

Jake’s finger hovered over the call button, his mind puzzled. He bites back his tongue. 

What if you don’t pick up? 

But when he accidentally touched the screen a bit too hard, and the dialing sound erupted through his phone's speaker, he had no choice but to accept the reality. 

Things happen for a reason. 

“Hello? Who is this?” he hears your voice. It sounds so full of life and delicate. 

“Uh, Jake. Sim Jake. I’m sorry if you're busy I just-” he rambles but you cut him off with a laugh. He pauses and feels embarrassment creep onto his cheeks as he lets one of his aggravating habits unleash in front of you. 

“No no, I’m not busy. I never am in a matter of fact” you say and he exhales a sharp breath he’s been holding in ever since the call started. 

Why was he so nervous? 

“Did you eat already?” you ask and he sits up straight on his bed. His nerves are now comforted by the mask of darkness, and his confidence grows with every inhale. 

“I did. Mom made jjigae. She usually never puts this much effort into dinner, and makes me eat out with Heeseung” Jake explains and you smile. 

Jake didn’t catch the moment where you two became friends. His far fetched knowledge wasn’t aware two people could bond so easily. The last time he hit it off with someone so easily was when Sunghoon joined their class last year. Some things as simple as this made him question himself. 

“Lucky” you expressed “My parents left for Busan this morning, and since me and Jungwon don’t cook, like at all, we had to eat leftover rice with some kimchi we found in the fridge” you explained and Jake thought about bringing you for dinner next time. 

He shook his head. 

“I tried catching up on some English, but I seriously can’t understand anything, Although I did make some sense of the last topic” you voice, not letting Jake speak on your last statement. 

A tingling sensation rushes down Jake’s neck and chest with a dangerous thrill. 

“Good” he lets out a shaky breath “I like that” 

“That sounded like you're trying to seduce me” you laugh, and Jake��s heart leeps unexpectedly. 

He wasn’t trying to. Or maybe he was. 

“Sorry” he mumbles “I’m just really tired, and I still haven’t finished the assignment” Jake explains and you feel bad for him. 

“Jake you need to stop overworking yourself. I know, we aren’t that close yet, but we all know you barely get any sleep” you scold, and his breath deepens. 

“I don’t want to disappoint anyone, '' his voice trembles. 

“You won’t. Jake this is highschool! You should be more careless, have some fun” you say “Maybe fall in love. Ah, I wish someone wanted me like Heeseung wants Seojun” you giggle. 

Everyone wants you. I want you. Don’t you know that? 

“Maybe you’re right,” he speaks with a low voice. 

“I know I’m right. I’m always right” you assure and hear a quiet, breathy laugh on the other side of the call. 

Jake thought you’d be the one to cut their conversation short, tired of his shyness, and drained from constantly coming up with an entraining topic, but you didn't. You didn’t hang up on him. Jake tossed and turned in his bed, regularly kicking off the bedsheets and bringing them back up when his body reaches an uncomfortable temperature. He listened to the soft sound of your voice until his mind seemed to shut it out, and his eyes eloped him in a universe of constant nothingness. 

“..she ditched me for him on my birthday! Can you believe? I was so pissed  at her for the whole week after that” you said and the other side of the line was quiet. “Jakey? Did you mute?”

Silence. 

You waited hoping to hear a response soon. 

“Oh, well you must’ve fallen asleep. Goodnight” you whispered softly, and smiled. 

don’t fall asleep next time!!!!!!! 

let’s get a meal tomorrow

i’ll tell you the story again hehe 

goodnight~~ 

…  

He had overcome his initial shyness. He spoke to you with a newfound confidence. 

It’s been a month. Or two. Jake can’t recall cause time spent with you never felt real to you. 

When Heeseung initiated your newborn friend group visits the beach in honor of graduation, Jake made sure to workout everyday, and follow his strict diet. He wanted to look good. 

For you. 

“You should tell us about how you found out you’re in love with Heeseung, Seojun!” Jieun beamed. 

Jake sits up rapidly glancing once again at the landscape in front of him. Soft wind blows and the hot sun seetles on his skin. 

“Not this again” you roll your eyes, and Jieun gives you a death glare. 

“I want to at least know what it feels like” she protests. 

“All of us have heard this story millions of times, Ji” you say and she acts offended. 

“I haven’t” Sunghoon declares, and takes a long sip of his ice cold water. 

Jake and Jay agree with him. You sigh and lay back down on the soft towel. The sizzling sand settles on your back through the material. 

“You’re just jealous no one loves you like Heeseung loves me” Seojun fights, and snuggles into the warm embrace of Heeseung's toned arms. 

I do. 

“Yeah right” you huff. 

“It’s hard for me to put into words what it feels like to be with Hee'' she starts and Jieun smiles “I don’t know the exact moment I knew, I just did. If you ever fall in love you’ll know it” 

“Even when he made me sad countless times, I still knew my anger wouldn’t last long. I started to love him for who he is on the inside. I started to love his flaws. The kisses and sweet words, they're still a first time feeling. He taught me answers that couldn't be obtained by counting. I have someone like him in my life and I know what I feel is real and will never compare to anything I’ve ever experienced. And if you love someone enough, they’ll always know where home is” she finished and Jieun was quietly fangirling, with a tear streaming down her rosy cheek. 

It felt familiar to Jake. He couldn’t quite grasp it yet. 

“Are you seriously crying, Jieun?” Jay interjected, and Jieun whipped the salty tear away with the palm of her hand. 

“Am not. The sun is just really bright, and I don’t have sunglasses” she protested and Jay just laughed. 

Jake felt awkward seeing how he changed after meeting you. 

He doubted his feelings for you. He could push them away. But he knew they were real. He learned to love every part of you. 

“I seriously need to get a girlfriend,” Sunghoon said, and Jay eagerly agreed with him. 

A sinking feeling begins to rot in his stomach as the realization dawns on him. 

“It’s a lot of searching but sometimes the right person is next to you the whole time” Heeseung explains. 

Jake looks at your sunkissed figure at his words, but quickly averts it to Jay who was pouring water into his cup. He didn’t want to be so obvious with his feelings. 

“Don’t even think about it” Jake turns his head to Sunghoon, who is pushing Jieun’s figure away. 

“You’ll never know if you don’t try,” Jieun pouts and crosses her arms. 

The blazing sun makes your skin glow a soft porcelain, pink lips pressed together. Jake likes it. He likes it almost too much. 

…

Jake spends lonely nights in the darkness of his own room, thinking about you. The image of you laying next to him, makes his heartbeat faster, and an unfamiliar feeling becomes one with his bloodline. You consumed at least 50% of his brain. 

He gets deja vu. His finger hovers over the call button, hesitation and panic replacing the air in his lungs. 

Why does he feel like this? 

“Fuck it” he murmurs. 

‘You should be more careless, have some fun, maybe fall in love’ 

“Hello? Is everything okay” the voice he adores so much speaks through his speaker, and he almost forgets that he dialed your number already. 

“Hey, Y/n” he speaks with a low voice, afraid of the destiny spreading before him with every word. 

“Jake you seem off” you say, and he straightens up his posture. 

Stop being weird. 

Jake remembers sitting here, on his bed, after the trip to the beach came to an end, the sun setting, forcing himself to accept the first pieces of the truth that changed his heart for good. The time span between that and now feels like he’s discovered so much. 

“You’re the best thing that has happened to me” Jake confesses. “And I know you changed me” 

You hesitate, flustered by his sudden confession “For the better, right?” 

“I don’t know that either” Jake says, and his voice trembles. 

He looks out the window, and it reminds him of the day that changed the way he perceived things. But this time instead of a bustling atmosphere, it was almost unoccupied. The street was lifeless, because without a purpose it feels the same way Jake did before he met you. Empty. 

“It’s okay to not know” you say, and Jake is brought back to the day he sat in the uncomfortable classroom chair, nothing in his head accept you. It took him long enough to realize his mistake. 

Jake feels a pinching feeling overcome his body. His hands, his head, his body and his soul. He wanted to cry again but he  didn’t  want tears to disrupt the heartfelt moment unveiling in front of him. He learnt to be grateful for what he has, but he never experienced what it's like to get that taken away from you. 

“I wish I could feel you” Jake’s voice falls into a low rumble. 

You inhale sharply. 

“In my arms” he holds his breath “Warm, and real” 

“Don’t do this, Jake” you whisper “Please” 

Heartbreak was never so loud. 

A silence falls within the call. He’s stunned into silence. 

“I think I love you” 

Nothing. 

His eyes squeeze shut. His heart seems to stop pumping blood, as he doesn’t hear your voice. 

As you can sense Jake’s wiliting stature, you speak softly “I’m sorry for doing this to you” 

“No it’s fine. I’m sorry for ruining our friendship” he replies, tears forming on his waterline. 

You don’t disagree with him. His heart begins to shatter. He knows he’s lost you. 

Jake loved to absorb new knowledge, and study complex problems. He liked the feeling that coursed through him as he successfully solved a math problem or answered a complicated chemistry equation. The one thing he learned so quickly was how to love you. How to appreciate you for your individuality, and cherish the moments spent with you. 

But the one thing he couldn’t learn was how to stop loving you. 

I’m going to miss this

“It hurts” he whispers, not capable of holding the stream of tears anymore “But it’s okay” 

“Jake I really hope you find someone that can love you the way I can’t” you wince. 

Everything brings him back to the day he first met you. 

Because now that he won’t have you by his side anymore, the unlucky days won't magically turn better. 

He hates the fact he will never be able to hate you. 

He hates the fact that you are so imperfectly perfect. 

Jake’s quiet cries are the only thing consoling the immediate silence. 

“Please remember me when our youth is gone, Y/n” he says hanging up the call.

[wobbbiy]

Could we be granted a piece of Marlow lore? If you're willing ofc :)

Thank you so much for asking about her! <3 I love the opportunity to explore her a bit. I don't know how much current bandwidth I have for editing the actual fic content I have for her to make it posting "ready". But, I will share some key things about her and if I do get inspiration (and people like her), I will see about posting bigger chunks of my tragic little spy's story.

[MAR-794] Marlow, of the Hidden.

Hidden Agent Profile ID: MAR-794 Name: "Marlow" Class: Hunter Subclass: Void (at some point this does switch to Stasis.) Race: Human Handler: AUN-326 Specialty: Eliksni reconnaissance, Early Retirement*

"Find thy self. Know thy self. Destroy thy self. Shed thy self. Embrace a new skin. Become the many. We are as unseen. We are as death."

Key Marlow things:

If it isn't clear, she is one of Ikora's Hidden Agents.

She is directly supervised by her mentor, Aunor, and as such takes on a lot of Aunor's traits (grumpy, ruthless) and beliefs (initially, anyway).

Her pre-Risen self was a gunslinging outlaw from the old western United States, before her ghost found her gravesite (yes this is possible, individuals from older cultures have been risen into Guardians). She isn't aware of her past self, but her current self prefers hand cannons (*cough* Last Word *cough*) and lever action scout rifles almost exclusively which is probably directly linked to her old self being comfortable with those kinds of weapons.

Her Ghost is named Ivy, and they are incredibly close.

Most of her story happens in the timeframe of the formation of House Salvation/Riis-Reborn and afterwards. She is an Eliksni reconnaissance expert. She was on the front lines in identifying and gathering intel about the start of Riis-Reborn.

Knew Variks was on Europa before he announced himself there, but was monitoring him.

She is fluent in understanding of written/spoken Eliksni language, and has a lot of reverence towards their culture. Because of this, her duties VERY often conflict with her own personal beliefs. (But remember, the Hidden vow essentially prohibits her from holding these kinds of personal values, so she doesn't make this known publicly but it is an internal struggle for her).

She is a VERY good spy. She is thorough and careful. She uses Void invisibility often as well to help aid in hiding her presence during reconnaissance ops.

Because she is supervised by Aunor (who is often tasked to dispatch "bad" Guardians), Marlow has a similar role in addition to the Eliksni spying.

[ DISCLAIMER: This is where MY head canons deviate from actual LORE, so stick with me a bit and understand that I KNOW it isn't canon. :) ]

Deviation begins HERE: In lore, Aunor does not kill Ghosts, but rather kills the Guardian and brings back the dead body and the Ghosts in captivity. My head canon is that there was a small span of time where the Hidden were actually directed to provide final deaths to Guardians (primarily when Darkness was initially being explored by Guardians in the form of Stasis and the VANGUARD panicked and Guardians were being corrupted). We know lore book authors are potentially biased at times especially in favor of the Vanguard looking good. So, this practice was kept under wraps. Aunor and Marlow sometimes had to dispatch Ghosts. It is a super shitty job that the Vanguard wants to keep extremely hidden as it does not look good for them. We already see how Aunor struggles to kill Guardians in the first place; but imagine how terrible of a job it would be to actually have to dispatch Ghosts...Yeah that's what I put Marlow through (sorry girly), I'm evil. Or rather, I just rlly hate the Vanguard.

*For Marlow, she isn't outright killing Guardians like Aunor does. What she is tasked with, however is to send "VERY strong messages" to those Guardians who the Vanguard/Ikora deem to be not deserving of light anymore but maybe don't qualify for a full-on assassination. Which means Marlow is tasked to kill Ghosts, rendering the Guardian lightless. This is what they refer to as "Early Retirements". (It's actually a sick practice, as many Guardians wish for final death after being rendered lightless and losing their Ghosts).

These assignments make Marlow take a very critical look into corruption of the Vanguard and the dehumanizing treatment that Hidden Agents have to subject themselves to once they take the vow (basically strips away your own identity/individuality and replaces it with group mentality). She is conflicted the entire time she is asked to dispatch Ghosts and also with how the Vanguard is handling the House Salvation conflict developing in Europa. It makes her physically ill to kill a Ghost.

She does have a tried-and-true method for getting a Ghost to emerge, while keeping the Guardian subdued but not killing them while she snags the Ghost. :[

A few other things she did in the short span of time around the time Eramis became a popsicle and House Salvation deserters evacuating, but before Kridis is hunted by us:

She ends up rebelling and disobeying (there's quite a bit that goes into this, but it's way too detailed). By doing so, she is quickly made a target herself. She killed the Hidden Agent that was sent after her, one of her own comrades.

She's on Europa at the time and is essentially pushed into Eliksni territory to escape the Hidden. She meets Namrask who helps hide her from Phylaks who's searching for a Guardian that was reported to be in the area (the fight between Marlow and the other Hidden Agent drew House Salvation attention).

She repays Namrask by raiding some ether stores the Vanguard had claimed. Embracing her new outlaw status.

Between the time Eramis is a popsicle, and in the time House Salvation deserters are evacuating she is pushed into an interaction with Kridis where Marlow does the Ireliis bow and isn't killed but ends up essentially a captive of Kridis. She confiscated Marlow's Ghost but protects Marlow from the Hidden within Riis-Reborn. Now in some coerced alliance, Marlow worked for Kridis for a bit until the Young Wolf kills Kridis (Marlow's recaptured and in Ikora's custody).

I thought it would be interesting to have a Guardian be "used" as an asset for House Salvation, so exploring that through Marlow. But, poor Marlow...I really put her through a lot and she's really a good person. I tend to like really complex, tragic characters that are forced to do things that go against their own personal morals. I think it creates a pretty interesting internal dynamic as well as leads to some interesting choices from them.

[filmbyjy]

TWITTER SUCKS! > special! private rants thread📌

a/n: these are very unhinged so i didn’t filter myself😀 honestly for the 3rd screenshot it’s practically just me. like I stumbled upon that huge heart pic of jay and just 🫠 lord that man has me on chokehold. anyways, these tweets are dated older so just ignore the time stamps of the tweets🙃

-

synopsis > who knew you could become famous overnight for paying $8 for a single blue checkmark? however, it does come with consequences…what happens when the actual BELIFT Lab comes knocking at your door. all because you simply impersonated your bias.

masterlist | chapter 12 | chapter 13

series taglist[open]: @lovers-szn @shiguresohmas @moonshoon @byunappetit @strvlveera @rikisly @4lythe @lalalalawon @beansworldsstuff @enhastolemyheart @jaehaki @shinsou-rii @jeanbob @sxftiell @renchai @nyfwyeonjun @invusblog @lhees01 @donghyckl @enhafika @dimplewonie @foxsunoo @luv2lia @lvrjjun @curly-fr13s @bubblytaetae @raikea10 @ce1ight @luvlee1313 @hafsa-hoofsa-heefs @soobisrealgfnotfake @justkatehere @l0tisflower @jseobsky @haerinism @liliansun @kyanmeai @nobodyshallenter @faeryhee @pkjay @mlink64 @luxurystark-jackson @aleombre @yenqa @heestrawberries @soaen @ckline35 @http-gyu @climbingmandevillas @stopeatread @y4wnjunz @aetherlol @whippedforbeomgyu @elisabeth-02 @tlnyjoong @miercerise @liikno

(to be added please send an ask or click here)

[galacticfire]

‼️ getting u into trouble on purpose :3 also 1️⃣

thanks i will do my best

‼️ Hot take/unpopular opinion?

Fine. You say hot take I give hot take. Doping talk time yippee!

"everyone is doping" and "nobody is doing anything that bad" are both bad black and white statements and don't take into account any amount of nuance of the real world!! Actually, imo most riders may be doping - or at least, interpreting the WADA / UCI rules in a way that is favorable to them but they are absolutely NOT doing to similar levels. And they have vastly different levels of responsibility to the current doping levels of the peloton. I think we're currently in a very bad phase of the sport doping wise - like not inventing anything crazy here you just have to look at the speed averages and the climb records and legit any interview of older guys about to retire or just retired talking about it and insinuating HEAVILY about it. It's been absolutely stupid since 2020 and every year since then it got dumber and there's obviously an arms race going on between jumbo and uae.

And this IS pushing everyone else to dope to keep up. Also I will not even bother arguing about whether your pogis and jonis are doping or not because pogi has the most thermonuclear staff of the sport like it's the evil avengers around him (just look up Matxin and Gianetti's previous achievements in the sport e.g. saunier duval if you're bored one day. you will find awesome things.) and jonas isn't beating him clean. God bless <3 Anyways my point is that some team management / riders are responsible for making it worse in the first place + coincidentally they're the ones with the endless fundings to put into R&D - because in the end testing will always be behind whatever new enhancements they manage to find.

Then there's the side of. Is it really doping? Is it medical malpractice? Is it actually dangerous? Like if they're just abusing the effects of some loophole in medication and......... Well I'm sorry. This argument drives me crazy. As if misusing medication hasn't always been a gigantic public health issue everywhere around the globe?? Take the tramadol ban for example. A thing various riders still active in the peloton were caught for so you Know it was widespread. It wasn't even banned because it enhanced performance but because it's an addictive medication that has side effects on your concentration and it was believed it was one of the main causes for dangerous unexplained crashes during races 😭 it's also like "Uhhhh yeah but increasing EPO with altitude camps isn't banned but blood transfusions Are??" well yeah maybe one of those is more of a health risk than the other. Ever thought about that. A substance being banned or not actually doesn't say much about about the health issues it could cause, and since we're currently smashing some of the most insane records of cycling (RIIS HAUTACAM YOU'RE NEXT!!) you can bet that some of the things they're taking are more dangerous than let's say. ketones. and even the carbon monoxide huffing room drama is probably only scratching the surface.

I guess my main point with this is that for me, doping, fundamentally, is a health issue and not a performance issue. But the performance is a clear reflection of the levels of doping that are currently happening behind the scenes. So I have a hard time putting on the same level a guy who will dope to keep up with the increasing speed and level of races, and a guy / team who is responsible for that increase in the first place. And they also obviously don't have the same team management / budget to be able to put together the same Medicalization Programme. I don't think this is an issue you should just wave around with a "oh they're all doing it" or "i'm sure they aren't doing anything that bad" when it's just wishful thinking. There could and there probably will be consequences, physical and mental wise - and that's just scratching the surface, let's not even talk about how this will incite people to try to dope younger and younger. ^_^

lol anyways lets stop here. i dont think it's much of a hot take for people who have followed the sport for a relatively long time but. yeah.

1️⃣What's the number one thing you'd like to see next season?

already answered it in a cynical way but i need to end this post on a lighter note. the happy answer to this is that i hope my pookie remcocobean goes to the giro and wins it!!

[4awnrii]

Dolly Intro 🎀

dis is rii’s intro 🙈 sheher | 9teen

haii, I’m rii / riri. m likes girly things, Pinterest, girlblogs, and older menn !!

dms r open ! not 4 creeps tho pls an tanks 💓

m repost lotz of tings bout girlblogs etc.. 💭

my account is not kink, but mi mite repost sum sexual tings

interests 𓈒 ── mi daddy 💗 lana, sum anime, rewatching Logan 24/7, blogging, and pinterest

[tzyuki]

[ 양정원 ] SOOAWK! ꒰ Y.JW x F!READER

IN WHICH ?! — Y/n’s junior year is ending, photos are being taken left and right, her being forgetful she had forgotten that she never had taken a photo in the beginning of the year for picture day due to her being sick. Looking over her friends yearbook surprised to see herself with a blank photo. She stormed into the yearbook committee asking why she wasn’t in it, that left a bad first impression on yang jungwon, but his wasn’t any better.

MY BABYGIRLS | profile one.

﹙★﹚DESCRIPTIONS…

siu y/n ; a junior (upcoming senior) at jangmi high school. leads the baking club (chuu used too but since she had graduated this year she passed the leadership to y/n!) strongly believes in angel numbers, esp 333. has had a little crush on wonyoung ever since sophomore year when she had seen wonyoung feeding the stray cats after school.

yizhuo ning ; a junior (upcoming senior) at jangmi high school. soul defender for life. passive aggressive, or just..aggressive..she finds ways to mess with her friends, like hacking their accounts (she bribes the tech guys with money).

haku shota ; a sophomore (upcoming junior) at jangmi high school. apart of the dance club called “p1harmony” where he is pretty close with the guys! uses those emoticons instead of emojis, everyone’s confused but it’s soul so they don’t bother him about it.

kim jiwoo (chuu) ; a graduating senior (upcoming freshman at seoul university) at jangmi high school. recently passed the leadership role of the baking club to y/n. wonyoung’s older sister, she’s very close with her little sister. if she got a dollar for every time she complained about school she’d be on a plane to california right now.

ji changmin ; a graduating senior (upcoming freshman at seoul university) at jangmi high school. everyone loves his mom, she’s super sweet and used to drive the gang around when no one had their licenses. ningning, sunwoo and him argue quite often, many kids at jangmi found their dynamic funny.

kim sunwoo ; a graduating senior (upcoming freshman at seoul university) at jangmi high school. a literal walking tiktok thirst trap, literally has twitter fangirls.

m.list — next profile

EJ NOTE 💭 officially pushed sooawk date to the 25th actually 😭 iIM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT PLS BARE WITH ME 😓

TAGLIST (closed) 🎶 @iulrma @jangwonie @cwsana @luvyrin @shinsou-rii @amara-mars @ineedaherosavemeenow @mintydayeon @love-4-keum @kpopx-xlover @abdiitcryy @beepjeongie @rikijackson04 @hyeki @ox1-lovesick @yenqa @imhuh @trsrina @txtbrainrot @wonioml @luvwwon @wonieleles @eundiarys @yeomha @ilvsoup @jiawji @redm4ri @ja4hyvn @ahnneyong @adajoemaya @dimplewonie @en-minniesode @jungwon-kitten @nokacchan @lcv3lies

[thefunny-and-thesilly]

WELCOME TO SHARED FIXATION CENTRAL!!

Here's a bit about the people here:

Rii - they/he - the funny older brother - posts tagged as "from rii" - main is @riiviir

Cappy - she/her - silly younger sister - posts tagged as "from cap" - main is @cappybae-candybar

current obsession: Gravity Falls

(look at our au plsssssss)

[wakfu-weekly]

🌀 Rii / Incarnam tutorial sources:

Opening cinematic (newest version)

Opening cinematic (earliest version)

Complete playthrough (my video, has timestamps)

the blog’s tutorial liveblog

the blog's Incarnam tag

the blog’s Rii tag

A walkthrough of an older Incarnam tutorial - From the official game site

Devblogs (official site, all the revamps of Incarnam I could find) chronological order

Revamping Incarnam and Astrub

Devblog: New Incarnam

Devblog: Tutorial

[hoonvrs]

NOONA — EP3: #SNOWAPPDIE

previous | m.list | next

LAST S. NOTES: can’t believe noona is now actually at an end 💔 thank you to everyone who liked/reblogged and commented i really do appreciate it especially since this is my first work here 🫂 probably won’t be my last smau cause i enjoyed this waayyyy too much

anyways i’m bad at this THANK YOU TO EVERYBODDYYY even if you started reading recently ily all MWAH 💋 ( if anyone finds me a man like hoon tell me ASAP !! )

going to miss our fave liverboy and livergirl v much☹️

SYNOPSIS: park sunghoon experienced love at first sight when he first laid eyes on his friends older sister. a series of sunghoon desperately trying to do anything in his power to get the girl and yang jungwon cockblocking him for funsies.

TAGLIST (CLOSED) @calijimenez @invusblog @astrae4 @lalalalawon @sserafimez @sfthyuka @miercerise @sasfransisco @annoyingbitch83 @pshchives @dazed-hee @sd211 @makiswrld @lovelypitasworld @kyuupidwrites @jangw2nyo @beansworldsstuff @shinrjj @mariji @shinsou-rii @curly-fr13s @homelycat @seungcheolswife @ilovewonyo @tinyegg @whippedforbeomgyu @adajoemaya @rikisly @sunoo-lvxr @strvlveera @myjaeyunn @meiiiwa @dazedgye @dimplewonie @sxftiell @plasmaticoo @iirene304 @captain-satan @pkjay @j-wyoung @diestheticu @chaeey @rodygr @enhy4me2 @officiallyjaehyuns @liliansun @the-poetic-side-of-me @jjangsims @dudufodd @heeswif3y @yawnzshit @4imhry @stinkoscope (bold couldn’t be tagged)

[homosociallyyours]

Hi megan ! So sorry that you’re feeling poorly :( I hope this will distract you for a minute ! Would you consider 1 and 34 for the combining tropes ?

Much love x

HELLOOOO thank you so much, love!!!

Historical AU/Vacation

there's soooo many places this can go!! My first thought was about a possible little outtake from my first long fic, The Changer and the Changed, with Louis and Harry and their little crew going to Riis beach in NYC. Historically it's been a popular gay spot for years, though I didn't realize quite how long until I read the stuff at the link above. In any case, reading that changed my mind!

I would go for Harry and Louis as younger gay men in the 60s taking a day trip out to "Screech Beach" to have a little nude beach time with their friends. They'd start out on the train at 10am on a Saturday, first sitting carefully next to each other, talking quietly. Harry with a wide straw bag that holds sandwiches and a carefully wrapped bottle of fruit infused booze that he and Louis will share all hidden beneath beach towels and tanning oil. Louis has a plastic bag with a couple of cokes and some chips that he bought before they got down into the station.

As the passengers on the train shift from city dwellers on their way to work or errands and into people heading out toward the beach, Harry and Louis' comfort grows. Louis slings his arm around Harry's shoulder, leaning in close as they talk, and slowly but surely they relax into one another.

The sand is hot and the wind whips through Harry's hair as they plod out to the far eastern edge of the beach, careful again as they pass by families, straights, the kind of people who want the beach to be a respectable spot. That crowd thins more and more, the beach growing sparsely populated, until they start to approach their beach.

---

The sound was faint at first, but it picked up the farther they walked-- Marvin Gaye's smooth voice singing I Heard It Through the Grapevine --"I'll bet you wondered how I knew." Harry hummed along to himself, turning to see Louis grinning at him before looking away. The song blended with the noise of a group of men gathered on a veritable sprawl of bedsheets held down with bags and large pieces of driftwood, their drunken laughter and teasing tones making Harry's heart feel light enough to fly away.

Harry led them on, though, past a lot of groups and over to the part of the beach where he was sure nudity was allowed because he couldn't turn his head without seeing it: an older man with a flat ass sprawled belly down on worn blue towel; a pair of women cuddled together beneath an umbrella, one with her head resting right on the other's tummy, face practically in her bush; mixed groups here and there, talking and laughing. All of them nude.

"How 'bout here?" Louis asked, grabbing Harry's arm. Harry turned to look at him, finding Louis shaking his head fondly. "I can tell you're dying to strip down, baby. C'mon."

Harry couldn't help but shrug, setting down their beach supplies and pulling his T-shirt off over his head, tossing it into the bag and stepping out of his shorts as quickly as he could.

"There's my little nudist," Louis said with a laugh. He took his own shirt off as well before spreading out their towels and lying back to look up at Harry.

Harry, meanwhile, let himself be admired. Between the sun overhead and Louis' gaze, he was hot all over, and he lifted his arms up as if that might make it easier for him to soak it all in. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, the salt air burning the back of his throat when he opened his mouth to let out the breath he'd taken in. This. This was freedom.

Louis' fingers wrapped around his ankle, and he looked down, swaying and smiling as though he was already sun-drunk. Louis looked up at him with a squinty-eyed smile holding the bottle of Coppertone in his free hand. Harry took the gesture for what it was, lowering himself onto the towel and lying back to let Louis oil him up.

---

They're just. BEACHING. There would absolutely be smut-- a sun oil handjob mid-day and one sweaty, salt and sand laced blowie that's half giggles and half moans, all hidden away in the public restroom by the beach.

DREAMY.